Blog!

Is it possible to abandon the concept of time? It might be a toothpaste and tube situation—impossible to unsee. But maybe we can still ignore it. Like the degenerate uncle nobody in your family speaks of. Just pretend time doesn't exist. 

Most jobs make this hard to do, of course. It would be damn near impossible if you have kids in public school and you'd miss a lot of doctor and dentist appointments. But is it even possible to lose the concept of time altogether?

I was reading a book recently where members of a farming village would gather at dawn to walk a great distance to farm their rice fields all day. Then they'd walk the distance home again at sunset. A researcher asked one of the tribespeople how long the walk took. Bewildered, she said, "I don't know. I've never thought about that."

Time is concept we have built our lives around. But do we have to use it all the... ahem... time.

What might happen? (Besides being late or missing a bunch of scheduled stuff).

I think we'd feel a lot less stress. How much anxiety do you feel in an average week just trying to make it to something on time.

I think we'd enjoy things more. It would allow us to experience things without the distraction of a looming "time to leave" or "bed time".

A concept of time, an awareness of time, the watching of it, speeds things up most of the time. But then, if we are bored or otherwise suffering something unpleasant, watching the clock slows things down. I'm not sure if this is what Einstein was talking about when he said time is relative, but it seems to fit.

Einstein once wrote, "If, for instance, I say, ‘That train arrives here at seven o’clock,’ I mean something like this: ‘The pointing of the small hand of my watch to seven and the arrival of the train are simultaneous events.’"

The connection of ticking clocks and watches to the passage of our lives is misleading.

This moment, now, exists differently for each person. Or as the New Yorker writer Jim Holt put it, "Whether two events are simultaneous is relative to the observer."

Weeks before his death, Einstein wrote, “this separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, if a stubborn one.”

I wonder then, can we force ourselves to see past the illusion? Can we ever be like the farmers walking to their fields, incapable of referencing time, even for a moment? I'm guessing not since I couldn't even write that last sentence without using the concept of time.

We can probably pretend it's not there, but like the degenerate uncle, it's going to show up uninvited and ruin our party.

Source: https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/time/grand-illusion

You're allowed to think and share your thoughts. And you can do it in whatever medium suits you — books, tweets, vlogs, blogs, or a megaphone on a busy street corner.  Amurrrica.

I forget this all the time. I usually forget it shortly after I've committed some considerable length of time to thinking about something, right in the middle of putting my thoughts into words on a screen. I lose confidence just as I'm figuring it out. Funny. But this is what we're supposed to do, think and share ideas.

Ideas have value. 

Sometimes the worst ideas on a subject come from the people closest to it. 

We need an outsider's perspective, they say. 

Well, you're in luck, for I have extensive training in the subtleties of being an outsider. Many of us do. And many of us do share our thoughts these days, but it's only the careless ones who seem to do so shamelessly. It's the ones who are worried whether or not they have earned the right to contribute who should. Outsiders get obvious things wrong, sometimes, of course. But that's not the point. 

The point, I think, is, provided you're not trying to pass yourself off as more of an expert than you are, you're allowed to contribute to any topic of discussion. Please share your ideas. You're encouraged. Your's might turn out to be the outside perspective that was needed. You might fall on you face, too. That's ok. Experts fall on their face all the time. 

You'll at least have an excuse.

It’s frustrating to watch bad ideas spread around the internet. Like butter on bread, they melt into our feeds and soak into our psyche until they becomes beliefs. And watch out, because once we adopt a belief, after it has hardened, it’s difficult to let it go. 

It’s hard to get the butter back out of the bread. 

One of those ideas is that ideas are worthless. It’s all in the execution they say. 

I’m guessing this idea comes from startup culture, which seems to have melded with work culture generally at this point, which if you’re American is central to your life. And from that perspective, a business perspective, ok fair enough. Ideas are cheap or even worthless. Even though I disagree with that too, I’ll give it to you. Let’s accept that business ideas are a dime a dozen. Business execution is what matters. Fine. 

But business ideas aren’t the only kind of ideas. You all know that right? Did I take vitamins this morning or stupid pills? 

There are a lot of different kinds of ideas. Like, a lot.

It is indefensible to say ideas have no value. That’s stupid. It’s really stupid. Nevertheless, bring it up in almost any group and someone will push up their nerdy glasses and chime in to parrot something about how actually, it’s all about execution.

I can go on here, and for pete's sake, maybe I need to, but I’m getting worked up and frankly, I need to compose myself.

Ideas are valuable.

Everyone who says otherwise is wrong and probably just trying to sound smart.

In fact, let me go out on a limb here, ideas may be the most fundamental, powerful, and extraordinary things that we stupid little humans are capable of producing. Now, where's the tylenol?

I’ve wanted to hike the John Muir Trail for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure why I’ve never made the trip — I travel plenty. But in the meantime, I’ve been content to experience it through the camera lenses of YouTube hikers and Netflix documentaries. There must be a thousand spots on the trail that prompt genuine awe in visitors. Perfect beauty in every direction

It's funny though — besides awe, the other constant among all the JMT videos is mosquitos. 

It's a scene that inevitably makes it into each film, long or short.

The hikers climb over a ridge to arrive at some wild place, the likes of which most people have never seen, maybe never imagined. It’s usually a mountaintop lake. The water is marble blue — the shade of blue that aliens looking down on Earth probably think all water must be. To find the horizon is to look up at the zig-zag lines of snow-topped mountains and find that the sky somehow mirror the water, or perhaps it’s the other way around. Boulders surround the lake. Flowers surround the boulders. Trees gather in little clusters. The sun doesn't just look warm it looks strong. It’s an experience so many of us are deprived of with our busy lives — stillness. Peace.

Then, thwack! The hiker’s experience is rudely interrupted; awareness yanked back into her body by the sudden realization that she is not alone. No, she is sharing this experience with a swarm of buzzing little pests.

Has the hike been ruined? Of course not. 

The people venturing onto the JMT know they will encounter a few mosquitos along the way—and they’ll show up during the moments that otherwise, are the most beautiful. They still go. They still get the awe they wanted. 

I should think about the hikers each morning when I wake up and begin my journey into the day to do this or that. 

There are no mountains at my home but there are still opportunities for awe. Unfortunately, its easy to let a mosquito, a barking dog, or a lawnmower ruin a moment. And sure, I want to murder my neighbor and blow up his riding mower with a pipe bomb every time he revs it up just as my family sits down outside for Mother’s day dinner — but that would be to let him steal my joy. So…

Mosquitos and lawnmowers be damned.

Did you know that you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want with your life? Seriously. There are no rules. Feel the freedom.

It may sound trite, but you can be whoever you want to be.

You can wear whatever clothes you want. You can walk around grumbling to yourself like a crazy person or make weird art. You can strive to be like your heroes or try to be completely unique. You can choose to take a secure traditional path or throw caution to the wind and live a wild carefree life full of risk and danger.

It’s your life. Do with it as you please.

But this is where it gets confusing, because, if there are no rules, then how do you explain the tales of famous rule breakers who drove progress, innovated in the art world, or disrupted an industry. 

How could they break the rules if there aren’t any?

This is because people confuse norms for rules. There is a difference and when we conflate the two, we limit ourselves.

Rules are formal, written, and usually enforceable.

Norms are informal, often unspoken social agreements to act, do, or be a certain way.

A rule has authority and consequences are imposed on the noncompliant. A norm, however, is more of a suggestion. Choose to ignore it and probably, no big deal. 

Whenever we encounter a situation in life where it is unclear whether we are dealing with a rule or a norm, what if we just decide to assume it’s a norm. 

Would we die? Would the encounter create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe!

I propose — wherever it won’t get you into legal trouble — replace the word “rule” with the word “norm”.

Rules are stifling.

Take music for example. Break one of the 5 Basic rules of chord progressions, or the Rules of Song Structure  and your music will surely suck, right? You’re breaking rules for god’s sake! 

Maybe. But if you follow the rules it would deprive the world of the next Paranoid Android or Bohemian Rhapsody—two songs written with complete disregard to the aforementioned rules.

Consider how this reframe can impact your life.

No more rules. Quit your job and move to Costa Rica.

No more rules. Wear whatever clothes you like.

No more rules. Quit social media because you know it makes you sad.

No more rules. Have kids later in life or don’t have kids at all.

No more rules. Be who you want. Do what you want. Live your life however you want! 

Damn, it’s corny but isn’t it freeing?

There are no rules in life. (Useful Not True) 

It’s mostly just a bunch of norms.

Reframe the way you look at it and do whatever the hell makes you happy, short of crime and violence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” Emerson’s words, though correct, do not tell the whole story. It is only the potential of a thousand forests that lies within an acorn. Without water, sun, and nutrients from the earth, that potential forest will never materialize.

Our children are like acorns. They each hold an endless stream of human potential within them. Throughout the course of their lives, as we have in our own lives, they will touch and influence countless other lives. Unless someone lives their entire life in complete isolation, this is unavoidable. In ways both big and small we all make an impact in this world and each impact we create ripples endlessly through time. So how do we change the world? We change the world by setting a good example for our children

The world is changed by your example not by your opinion: Paulo Coehlo

How to set a good Example

Let’s be real, everyone already knows how to do this. How do you set a good example? By being a good person! Be kind. Be patient. Help Others. Love others. Avoid harming others. Don’t be a dick! Or perhaps the golden rule - Treat Others as you would want to be treated.

Its simple but it’s not necessarily easy.  We live in the real world here, where our patience is constantly tested. A driver cutting you off on the freeway can easily elicit an angry reaction, “ What the f*** man!” No big deal, but if your kid is in the backseat, you’re setting an example that it’s ok to cuss at people that make mistakes. It’s our job as parents to be mindful of these shortcomings and work to correct them. Pobody’s Nerfect! Things will happen. But if we handle it correctly, perhaps even apologizing to our child for the little outburst, then what we do afterward can be the lesson our child remembers, not the shortcoming itself.

Asking Questions

If we want our children to change the world for good, which I will assume we all do, then it goes that we want them to be open minded. Open minded people ask questions. They seek knowledge. Closed minded people shut themselves off from knowledge—they avoid asking too many questions or risk proving their own opinion to be wrong.

If Question Asking was basketball, children would be Michael Jordan - or Lebron, or Kobe - whoever, I don’t sports. You get it. I’m saying children are gifted question askers. Encourage this and help them maintain their inquisitive nature. They’re going to need it.

The best question: WHY?

"Why" might be the most important question of all. This too comes naturally for children, but far too often we brush the question aside as silly behavior or don’t give it the significance it deserves.  Why? Because I said so. Why? That’s just the way it is. Taking the time to answer our children’s “whys” does two things: It further encourages them to ask questions and it sets the idea in their mind that they deserve to know why something is the way it is. As a parent, if my child holds on to this one idea throughout their life, my mind will be a little more at ease because I will know that they are better equipped to deal with oppression and injustice in life.

Emerson wasn’t the only man that thought acorns had a story to tell. Henry Ward Beecher said, “Genius un-exerted is no more genius than a bushel of acorns is a forest of oaks.” Our children all hold the same limitless potential. Life is that, limitless potential. If we can instill the ideas of courage, curiosity, and an eagerness to understand each other then I think our children will realize the potential genius that each one of them is.

As Einstein said, “Everybody is a Genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

We can change the world by realizing that we are all uniquely beautiful and by treating each other with respect. We are changing the world every time we set an example and teach our children to do the same.

When I text my brother, I can usually expect a response in 2-3 days. I’ve never asked him why he’s so bad at responding. I figure it’s none of my business. When I receive a text or miss a call from my friend who lives in San Francisco—I live in Kentucky—I know that I only have about a minute to respond. If I take any longer, he will not reply. He will have already moved on with his life and, for the sake of wasted time, I should probably abandon any attempt to continue the conversation.

According to Facebook, they averaged 1.18 billion active daily users in September 2016. Twitter’s website (at the time of writing this article—Nov. 2016) says they have 313 million active users. In 2014, 8.5 Billion texts were sent each day in the U.S. alone! By 2018, it's expected that people will receive 97 business related emails per day.

Then there’s old fashioned phone calls, diminishing but still relevant—the NSA said that in 2013 there were about 3 billion phone calls being made in the U.S. each day.

We are living through a digital revolution—a time of ever increasing hyperconnectivity—but somehow it doesn’t always feel that way.

Maybe it’s because only 22% of emails are ever opened—or the fact that the number of phone calls that go unanswered is increasing. When those calls go unanswered, 72% of callers don’t leave voicemails, which is probably smart because 80% of people say they don’t listen to them.

Contacting People We Know

Our social habits, when it comes to communication, are also in a revolution. 

While I expect one friend to respond to all of my social media messages, texts, or phone calls, I don’t have the same expectations for everyone. That may because there is no universally accepted primary form of communication anymore. My grandma doesn’t text, my brother doesn’t write letters, my wife isn’t on Twitter, and one of my friends isn’t on Facebook. I remember—when my wife and I were planning our wedding—trying to collect people’s addresses to send out invitations. Besides letter writing, I had to use each of the aforementioned forms of communication to complete our list—plus phone calls—and, for some people, it took multiple messages before they responded. 

I don’t know how often my uncle checks his social media accounts, I don’t know my old coworker’s email address, and I don’t know the new cell phone numbers for all of my old high school friends. This meant that the best process was trial and error. If nobody responded on Facebook, or an old email address bounced, then I had to track down friends and family through other people.

Who has a home phone anymore?  My family hasn’t had one for over 8 years. Furthermore,I have friends that I haven’t called in years but we text on a regular basis. Communication has changed.

Contacting Businesses

When I call my bank, I know the exact moment that I can interrupt the robo-operator by pressing “0”. While that gets me a little closer to my goal of talking to a live person, I still have to make a couple more numerical selections before I finally get placed on hold—because they are always “experiencing higher than normal call volume”—and wait for an actual person to help me.

I called the manufacturer of my microwave because it needed repair—it was almost 20 minutes before I got to talk to someone.

The pre-recorded message suggested several times that I go to the website to make a service appointment but I didn’t have the warranty information needed to make an appointment via the website. I needed to talk to a person—a small request, I thought, since I was reaching out to a multi-billion dollar company.  But, this is the way things are now. We live in the world of online chat support, FAQ pages, and automated emails. 

There are even websites like GetHuman.com that try to address this issue. Get Human’s tagline is “Get painless customer service.” On their site, you can enter the name of a company with whom you have an issue and Get Human will give you the best phone numbers and web pages to get your problem solved—or you can pay them to get it solved for you since dealing with company’s customer service processes is often difficult and time consuming.

Many companies, especially in the tech industry, are abandoning phone numbers altogether. Try entering Facebook or Twitter into Get Human’s system and, while it will provide you with a number, the number is only a recording that directs you back to a website. This is of course understandable for a company like Facebook with over a billion customers.

Contacting Prominent People

How many emails do you think Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin Group, gets each day? I’ve emailed him. I didn’t expect a response and I didn’t get one. But I was able to find his email address—or at least one of his email addresses—and while I know there’s a 99 percent chance that it’s not actually Sir Richard Branson managing the account but an administrative assistant, since it exists, I figured it must serve some purpose. So why not try.

But if I found the address by engaging only a moderate amount of search-engine sleuthing skills, then so can millions of other people, and that seems to be the problem with hyperconnectivity—when we are all connected, the people whose attention is most in demand are overwhelmed with requests. It’s like a thousand swarms of bees all vying for the nectar of a single flower.

For the uber-famous, it’s an impossible endeavor to try to respond to every request for attention. There simply isn’t enough nectar for all the bees.

I remember writing a letter to Michael Jordan as a child. Months later, I actually got a signed letter back. I have no idea if it was actually signed by MJ, but I got a response. There may be celebrities left with impressively responsive fan clubs but I’d venture to guess that a vast majority of fans aren’t writing letters these days.* They’re tagging celebrities in tweets and taking a chance with an unsolicited email.**

*It’s important to point out there is likely a big difference between response rates with fans and response rates to business inquiries directed at celebrities. **While probably impossible for Richard Branson, I can think of a couple celebrities that claim to personally respond to every email.

Contacting prominent people becomes then, one of two things—the cliched ideas of rising above the noise or “it’s who you know”.

Look at Sir Richard Branson again—right now he has 8.7 million Twitter followers. That’s a lot of noise to overcome, but at least one man did it. He got creative. While most people were sending emails and tweets followed by prayer or strategic follow up messages, Joe Tannorella built a website. DearSirRichard.com was a personal message to Branson, disguised as a website. On the site Joe asked Branson if he would be willing to record a short clip to be played during his best man speech at his brother’s wedding—Branson was his brother’s hero. In the end, with the help of a few Twitter advertisements, it worked—Branson sent a personal message to Joe and his brother and Virgin Mobile reached out too, asking Joe to email them directly.

It seems one cliche begets the other—you need other people to help you rise above the noise. That’s why Joe put his personal contact information on the website and asked anybody with a connection to Branson to please forward his info and his request.

Counting People

Compare the following two web pages:

http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

http://www.internetlivestats.com/internet-users/

One shows a live counter tracking the number of people in the world. The other shows a live counter tracking the number of people that have access to the internet. You’ll see that the latter is rising much faster. One day those numbers could meet and there are lot of people working to make that happen.  Google company X has Project Loon, Facebook has Internet.org—both projects aiming to bring Internet access to the entire world. Independent projects like Connect the World are trying to bring people and companies together with the same objective.

We can only speculate on what technological advances await us down the road and with the sizable growth potential of Internet access, it would seem we are still in an early phase of person-to-person hyperconnectivity. This means that, as more people come online, the the noise will only get louder. There are already 3.5 billion people with internet access worldwide and every day another aspect of our daily lives becomes digitally connected—simplified in an app. or swallowed by a new industry—each change creating new avenues for communication.

As one person said—their name appropriately lost in the noise–, “It has never been so easy and so hard to reach someone.” This is the paradox of hyperconnectivity.